A Whole Can Of Nope!
by LycoX
Summary: What do you do when the most reliable guy around is suddenly uninterested in anything but relaxing?


**A Whole**

**Can Of Nope!**

**Disclaimer: Another of my fun ideas where this time a scenario's explored where Clark's decided to just not care and relax. Takes some inspiration from an episode of 'Eureka' where Sheriff Carter gets fed up with everything and takes a few days off. Only, there won't be any smart houses taking control of things. Takes place in an AU where Alicia never went nuts in 'Obsession' and she and Clark have been happy bunnies ever since.**

**Lana did go to Paris but came back when she realized she missed home and her friends too much and her and Jason are NOT a thing. Pete also never left.**

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"Clark, you can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am. I'm the most serious ever."

"But… It, it just isn't right!"

"Sure it is, to me at least."

"Your parents can't be happy about this!"

"Nope. Hence why I'm out here in my comfy hammock. By the way, how'd you find me anyway? Not even my dad's figured out I'm here in the back 40."

Chloe could only stare at her best friend in a flabbergasted manner. Greatly unused to a Clark Kent that was just… Lazy? Just relaxed as possible? She wasn't sure how to describe it as the whole situation was just unusual. "I GPS'ed you, Clark. That's how." She told him.

"Oh, I guess Crazy Ronnie's right about the government making that stuff to keep tabs on the little guys, huh? Totally uncool of them."

She shot him an unimpressed look that he failed to notice due to going back to the graphic novel he'd been reading. "Clark, seriously, this isn't funny. So please, put on some pants and let's go." Pleaded the Blonde.

As seeing him in a bathrobe, a t-shirt, and loose fitting boxer briefs was just too weird for the girl. Clark didn't even look at her as he replied. "Nah, I'm taking a break from everything. And that everything includes articles for the Torch."

"I can't imagine Alicia being willing enough to put up with all this. And its not Torch related but more Meteor Freak related." Tried the girl, hoping it would get him to stop being so darned difficult!

"Actually, she's the reason I even realized I was burnt out and in bad need of a break. And as for the MF issue, I think you guys can deal with it on your own. It can't be too bad, right?"

"Well… No, she can make snow appear."

"So what's the problem? Sounds like a fun time to me!"

"Okay, I lied. Your parents asked me to find you to try and talk some sense into you."

"Ooh, government's ways are rubbin' off on ya, Chlo. Might wanna watch that. And my parents just need to leave things be. I've more than earned a right to just relax and not do a thing unless I wanna. And right now, I wanna lay here on my comfy hammock and read this graphic novel, m'kay?" Sheesh, its not like it was the end of the world or anything!

Frustrated, Chloe stomped her foot with a huff and walked off. _I'd ask Pete but he'd probably just relax with Clark. Oh! I'll ask Lex!_

**A Short Time Later**

"Well? How'd it go?" Asked Chloe as she and Clark's parents waited anxiously for Lex to tell them something that was hopefully good.

"He's considering writing Haikus."

The trio just stared at him for a long moment. "I'm… I'm sorry, but I don't think we heard you right, Lex." Martha told him.

"No, you heard me right. I talked to him, we somehow ended up in a discussion about poetry, and he decided to try his hand at Haiku. The end."

Okay, so it really didn't go down exactly like that but he didn't need to tell them that. Hell, Lex actually liked the fact his friend was taking some time for himself! As even he had seen how burnt out Clark was getting! Jonathan huffed and walked off back into the house, unhappy with this turn of events. "Well, I'll be off. Things to do and all that."

_Hmm… Maybe I could get a hammock and join Clark?_

Martha and Chloe watched him leave before turning to one another. "Now what, Mrs. Kent?"

"I… Maybe we can get Alicia to help us?"

"Considering she's the reason he's doing all this? Probably a bad idea."

"Hmm… You're right."

**The Next Day**

"Seriously, Lana, I think you should go over there and talk to Clark. You know you have an effect on him." Pleaded Chloe desperately to her best friend and sister in all but blood at the Talon that following day.

"Sorry, but I think that ship has firmly sailed, Chloe. He and I are _just _friends and he's more likely to listen to Alicia now then me." Replied Lana with a small shrug.

Even if she did hate the whole thing like nothing else but it was clear her and Clark weren't going to be anything more than friends thanks in part to his secrets and the fact he's happy with Alicia. Which was nice to see as she hated the thought of him being so alone, even if it was something she was jealous about for obvious reasons. "But Lana! You're my only hope! I can't ask Alicia cause she's the cause of this whole mess! And Pete and Lex are especially of no help!"

"Chloe, I don't see what the big deal is! He's more than earned a right to be as relaxed and lazy as he wants to be!"

As seriously, the guy was the town hero and all that! Just then, the object of their discussion came into the Talon. Wearing shades, slippers, purple shorts, a t-shirt, and a yellow bathrobe. His hair looked wild and it was enough to drive a girl crazy. A flushed Alicia at his side, hand in hand as well. Clark studiously ignored all the curious looks sent his way as he came up to the counter where the two girls were. "Lana! Your finest Capuccinos please! And make it a surprise flavored one! Well, for me at least."

"Yeah, I'll take my usual." Alicia said with a shrug.

Who was still heavily surprised with the fact her boyfriend had actually ran with her suggestion and still continued to do so! "Coming right up, guys!" Lana told them with a smile.

Clark fixed his attention on Chloe for a moment before speaking. "You aren't tryin' to enlist Lana to Uncle Sam's cause, now are you? Cause that's not very nice."

She glared hotly at him. "Considering I have an actual Uncle named Sam, I would have to say no, Clark. I'm not. Because for one thing, there's no way he would put up with your current attitude."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Because he's a General!"

"Oh. Man, you really ARE connected to The Man then, aren't ya?" Replied Clark in a suspicious way.

Chloe's glare intensified as Alicia grinned in amusement. Absolutely loving how this whole thing was going! "The Man and Big Brother are definitely worrisome, gorgeous."

"Alicia! Don't egg him on!"

"Hey, I have to support my guy! Even if it is against the Government!" Retorted a very amused Alicia as Chloe just groaned.

Had Alicia known how this whole thing would go when she realized and told Clark he was clearly burnt out and needed a break? She would have done it months ago! Clark nodded sagely as he wrapped his arm around his girlfriend. "Yeah, that's a big part of any relationship, Chloe. Support. Its a heck of a thing."

"I swear I'm gonna hurt you so badly." Groaned Chloe in annoyance.

Clark just grinned widely. "Others have tried and failed, Chloe. Others have tried and failed."

"And I'll succeed where they didn't. For my wrath is a wrath unlike any other."

"I will believe it when I see it."

Chloe huffed as Lana got Clark and Alicia their orders and Clark quickly took a sip of his. "Ooh! Caramel _and _Peach! I like!"

A wide happy smile came from Lana. "Glad you approve! Want that from now on?" She asked of him and he thought it over.

"Hmm… Maybe every once in awhile, wouldn't wanna get bored or something."

"Fair enough."

Nicely enough, it'd be a week before Clark finally quit with the laziness and relaxation much to Mr. Kent and Chloe's immense happiness. But Clark could honestly say it was the best damned vacation he'd ever had thanks to Alicia saying something to him! Something that would earn her the most passionate, breath taking kiss he could muster with her as well. And for her to loudly declare she had to get another of those somehow!

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**Author's Notes: Heh, hope folks enjoyed! Who knows, maybe I'll do another one like this but in chapters instead of as a one-shot.**


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